Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Shine.

Sometimes there are things that happen and all I want to do is write a story about it. Maybe not directly write about the it, but write a story about the it. The words are always there, I hear them, swirling around my head, waiting for them to whip me into the direction I want to go, but it's the act of the follow-through, knowing that I want to say something about something and maybe that something is possibly something other people may want to know, too. But then I think they don't, so I sit in the little tornado of words in my head, waiting for the storm to clear; the sunshine.

There are words and phrases that stick with us: Call me Ishmael. Happy families are all alike... When in the course of human events it becomes necessary... But when it hits you, when the words you've been carrying really hit you, He rolls into your arms like Ozzie and Harriet, and you can't look back. Everything turns into narrative; one silly, long, grinning-like-an-idiot narrative. About life and how you live it. How you want to live it and why we do what we do. I'm not letting mine beat me up anymore-- Everything is ridiculous and nothing is okay. The hyperbole is lost and found again.

Something happened-- clicked-- recently: I've been happy for over seven months. Seven whole months of laughing, letting go, saying yes. Being. So all things limp together for the only possible. More words that aren't mine. I was limping, all things were limping. I can't go on. I'll go on. Even more words. I spent my thirtieth birthday locked in my bedroom; my heart pounding in my chest praying everything would just go away, wondering what the hell I did to get into this situation and how to make it better. Worse.

I made a change. A huge, life-changing change. I said, out loud, what I wanted and when I needed it, and everything stopped. I said six words and everything was different. It was like the carnival tilt-a-whirl just slowed to that halting, dizzying slow and I just stepped off, my inner ears still adjusting to the speed of still. And then I ran. I went to my best friend's house thousands of miles away, we drove through the desert, and landed at a beach in Mexico. And we talked and we laughed and we laughed and I didn't cry. There was no crying.

They say not to write when you're sentimental. Ha. Coming from a family of people who aren't, I think it'll be okay. How can you move forward without understanding the past? Or really realizing that you're writing like an excited 25-year old still grasping at the dreams of undergrad? G.I. Joe. Knowing is half the battle. Etc. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. More Other People's Words. Sensing a theme? It's all here and it's all now.

So, here we are. I'm happy. I've never laughed as much as I have in the past months. I've come to terms with my overly absent-minded and klutz of a self. Everything is ridiculous and nothing is okay. I'm turning 32 and I will never be locked inside anything ever again. I choose this life, right now. I choose the ridiculous. I choose. I choose other people's words, I'm not interested in writing short stories. Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing. I choose mine.

This life is mine. I'm back on my feet again.

Monday, January 05, 2015

A (Year) In The Life 2014.

Travels:
New York, NY

St. Petersburg, FL x2
Ocala, FL
Baltimore, MD
Phoenix, AZ
Puerto PeƱasco, Mexico
Norfolk, VA
Pittsfield, MA
Charleston, SC
Minneapolis, MN
Tulsa, OK

Concerts:
Neutral Milk Hotel

CJ Chenier & The Red Hot Louisiana Band
Shamrockfest (for the cover bands)
First Aid Kit
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Fantasia with The National Symphony Orchestra
The Buzzcocks
The Augustines
The Concert for Valor
The Rememberables

Theater:
The Lion King

Medieval Madness

For the only possible:





20062007200820092010201120122013

Thursday, January 02, 2014

A (Year) In The Life 2013.

Travels:
New York, NY x5

Valley Forge Historical Site
St. Petersburg, FL x2
Ocala, FL
Phoenix, AZ
San Francisco, CA
Charlottesville, VA

Luray Caverns, VA
Hampton Roads, VA
Troy, NY x2
Pittsfield, MA

Chantilly, VA

Concerts:
White Ford Bronco
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

The Features
The Thermals
National Symphony Orchestra: Video Games Live!
Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake
Dismemberment Plan
Grace Potter

Theater:
Medieval Madness

Potted Potter

Weddings:
Dan & Mindy

Adriana & Joel
Todd & Val
Alana & Pete

For the only possible:
Mike moved from Brooklyn in March, we moved to a new apartment in November; I bought a new camera, and I'm starting graduate school at the end of January. So, that's a start.


2006200720082009201020112012

Thursday, January 03, 2013

A (Year) in The Life 2012.

Travels:
St. Petersburg, FL
New York, NY x14
Minneapolis, MN
Seattle, WA
Portland, OR
San Francisco, CA
Wilmington, DE
Charlottesville, VA
Troy, NY x4
Rehoboth, DE x3
Trenton, ME
Pittsfield, MA

The Empire Builder:
I decided to take a trip. And I'd like to blame Eric and Betz Petersen since they're halfway across the country in Minneapolis. It was my If You Give a Mouse a Cookie moment: I'm already half-way, why not Go To There?  After staying with the Petersens for the long Presidents' Day weekend, I rode the Amtrak Empire Builder from St. Paul, MN to Seattle, WA passing through Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, and Washington. I travelled close to 1,800 miles in 36 hours with fantastic views and just being Away from It All. I met up with my friends Tracy and Max in Seattle for four days revisiting a city I love and even got to see an old high school friend, Josef. I hopped the Amtrak Coast Starlight down to Portland for the day and ended up exploring the Columbia River Gorge area with another of my Oklahoma-escapees, Will, until I had to catch my evening flight to San Francisco.

SF was a bit of a whirlwind of two-ish days-- why wouldn't it be with Dottie, Mik, and Cait-- but besides the ER visit, there were beers to be had, friends to be made (Hello, Chris at Joe's!), old haunts to revisit, and one last stop at the Gold Dust for Irish Coffee before she shut down. I boarded a Virgin America flight East, and landed at JFK five hours later just to get lost and frustrated on the Subway on a rainy night (I have a pass-- the stop I wanted was closed). The last four days of my trip I spent with friends living above a shitty bar in Williamsburg wondering if I could actually live above a shitty bar in Williamsburg. I came home to DC on the bus, which then completed my Richard Scarrey's Cars and Trucks and Things That Go tour of the United States.

I kept a journal of the entire trip, but need to scan the images as I shot all instant film.

Concerts:
White Ford Bronco
National Symphony Orchestra - The Planets

Theater:
None.

Weddings:
Brian and Emily, May 26


For the only possible:
Well, here we go.

20062007200820092010, 2011

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

A (Year) in the Life 2011.

Travels:
Dryfork, WV
Winchester, VA
Rehoboth, DE
Charlottesville, VA
Austin, Killeen, and Waco, TX
Boston, MA
Winchester, VA
New York, NY
New York, NY
Pittsfield, MA
New York, NY
New York and Brooklyn, NY


Concerts:
White Ford Bronco
The Dismemberment Plan
Wild Flag
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Andalusian Dog
National Symphony Orchestra: Casablanca
Dolly Parton
Alkaline Trio
The Horrors
Wild Flag
White Ford Bronco
Beady Eye
Gogol Bordello


Theater:
The Blackwatch (Scottish National Theatre/Shakespeare Theatre Company)
Newsies (Papermill Playhouse)
Rent (University of Maryland)


Weddings:
Danny and Emily, March 5
John and Shane, September 10


For the only possible:
2011 brought on more responsibility and more confidence. I started ice hockey lessons in July and hope to join a league in Spring 2012. I tutor two wonderful 8th grade girls with Arlington Affordable Housing Corp, and I hope to continue working with them through this school year and the next and the next! I also got a new job this year; same office, but more responsiblilty and working with people I know and respect (not that I wasn't before, but this was a Good move for me).

2012 is already shaping up to be a year of travel, reconnecting with old friends, and trying new things. Like brewing beer.


2007, 2008, 2009, 2010

Thursday, December 29, 2011

To Breathe, to write.

So, let's play a game. During which I learn to write again and often and to many.