Bend.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they bend. We've got a lot of benders at work, and by bender I mean literally 'to bend' rather than heavy drinking activity.

To enter my office building, one must swipe their badge and enter a code; pretty easy, but the number pad is lacking utility for people on both sides of the height scale. I might be considered tall, for a female; I'm five feet and eight inches barefoot. Our number pad comes up to the bottom of my sternum, where my chest stops and my abdomen begins. In order to type in my code, I have to contort my body-- not just bow my head-- and bend low enough to see the numbers that flip up on the pad.

There's no dicreet way about it, and so, I give you the many bends found at my workplace:

The Squat: After swiping badge, one literally squats before the number pad, legs apart just a bit and bent at the knees. Usually shorter, older men.

The Side-Step: Our subject approaches the number pad, but stands a little of to the side, and instead of bending forward, they bend to the side-- much like doing a side-stretch-- to access the number pad. Usually tall females.

The Hunchback: Only bends one's upper body-- the spine and shoulders-- to lose just enough height to see the number pad. I've seen subjects lose half their height in this move, it's quite amazing.

The Forward Fold: Just like in Yoga class, the subject keeps their body in a straight line, extending the spine to get that extra height. Bending at the hip-points, this subject doesn't stop until their body has made a nintey-degree angle. At this point they bend their head up to see the number pad and type in their code. Usually performed by young females.

The Sitter: Much like the squat, but Sitters keep their legs tightly together at the knees. This move is handy when wearing a short skirt.

The Catcher: After swiping badge, these subjects go into a low squat, legs wide apart to type in their code. Subjects often tall males in formal business attire.

The Strainer: The Strainer is a funny character. This one's not quite as willing to bend as much as others I've observed. These subjects approach the number pad exuding total confidence. Standing up straight and very close to the pad, they bow their heads as much as possible, chin(s) hitting chest, and without bending type in their number. These subjects usually mis-type their code and have to choose from one of the many bends to correct it. The Strainers are typically men in front of females or their bosses.

The Hold and Bend: The subjects that perform this kind of nonchalante move are quite funny. These are the type of people you want to be your friends. This move is very informal and requires less preparation than the others: Approach the numberpad, hold on to the numberpad-box by wrapping your hand and lower arm around it, bend over like you're hugging the thing and type in your number with your other hand.

The I Don't Care so I'm Going to Sneak in Behind this Person: This move usually doesn't work since there's a security guard waiting just past the entrance. Subject is relegated to type in their code using one of the previously mentioned positions.

The Hands Full: This one's a little tricky. The subject sets travel mug on top of numberpad box and shifts weight towards the door; subject then types in number with free hand and then grabs the door after the unlock 'click' with same free hand. At this point, subject throws leg inside door while simultaneously grabbing travel mug from numberpad. If the door coming down on subject's leg has not shattered her tibia, subject insert's knee into door and wedges her (I mean 'their') body inside. Kind gentleman holds elevator for subject, but subject is delayed by Security guard as the subject did not hold up their badge while coming in. Security guard approaches and does The Forward Fold to see subject's ID badge handing from its lanyard around her neck. Elevator starts beeping as kind gentleman still holds the door open. "Good morning, thank you for holding the door for me." This move is usually pulled by a certain employee named Kate on Wednesday mornings.

So, which move are you?